I was raised in a home that I would consider took
a nominal approach to our Catholic faith. On the one
hand, I was taught that the Catholic Church was God's
one and only Church, exclusively holding the keys
to heaven and hell, and was to be regarded as such.
On the other hand, it was not uncommon for us to miss
the Mass, take the Lord's name in vain, or criticize
the Church. Still, we placed our faith and trust in
this ancient and venerated institution.
My God-Parents were my Aunt and Uncle who, though
Catholics themselves, seemed to hold to a different
view of salvation and communication with God than
the Catholic teaching I had received. They talked
to me about placing my faith in Christ's work on the
cross and that He completely paid for my sins and
that I could talk to God about anything. "He
is always listening," my Aunt would say. I had
been raised to think that God kept detailed records
of the good and bad deeds of my life that would somehow
be weighed by God at the end of my life. If my good
deeds exceeded my bad, the worst I would have to fear
would be a time in Purgatory, followed by Heaven.
It was only truly evil people who needed to fear Hell.
Controlling the various rites of the Church were the
priests and nuns who I found to be very intimidating
and authoritative in nature. Unquestioning submission
to their leadership was a good idea for those who
wished to please God.
For all of the reverence and devotion I witnessed
in Catholicism, there was surprising little concern
and dialogue over spiritual matters in our family.
Religious subjects weren't a topic for discussion
in our household, and I had no desire to ask the priests,
but was determined to pray to God every night and
hoped that someday He would answer my questions.
Life's difficulties, and my frustrations with Catholicism
only increased as I grew older. The event that turned
me away from the Church occurred when I tried to arrange
for the baptism of my son. I had been married in City
Hall and for this reason, the Church informed me they
considered my child illegitimate and would not baptize
him. During this pregnancy, my husband decided that
this was not the life for him and left me. From now
on I felt, it would have to be just me and God. Every
night I would have long talks with God and ask for
His help, but always found myself doing what I knew
to be wrong, and seemed powerless to make a difference.
I felt so alone and often wondered "What is wrong
with me?"
Following some very discouraging relationships with
men, I turned to God in absolute desperation and asked
for His will to be done in my life no matter what
that meant. I didn't know how wonderfully He would
answer me.
Soon after this, I reluctantly agreed to go to a
restaurant with some friends. We had just ordered
the meals when the manager, Mr. Kevin S. Johnson,
overheard the conversation I was having with one of
his waitresses. I had worked with her at another restaurant
where I was head waitress. I was in charge of training
even those who went to open other franchises in our
chain. Kevin came over and explained that they had
just let three waitresses who were trainers go and
really needed someone who had my skills. He told me
that he was managing the restaurant because his dad
had died a couple of months before, and that his father
had always said that the best trained waitresses came
from my former place of employment. He went and got
a an application form and handed it to me with the
request that I would consider even part time employment.
God was definitely at work in this. I folded up the
application form, put it in my purse and really didn't
intend on filling it out because I already had a job.
My friend went out to start the car and came back
in sputtering and cursing under her breath because
it wouldn't start. She was upset because it had started
all winter long in 60 degree below wind-chill factor
and was not starting now in March! Kevin came over
and offered the help of his cook, whom he said was
a great mechanic, to look at the car. He also brought
a brand new application form with a pen and asked
if I wanted to fill it out while I waited for the
car to start. As I was filling it out the mechanic/cook
came back in and said he couldn't find anything wrong
with the car and just couldn't understand why it wouldn't
start. As I finished the application, and handed it
to Kevin, my girlfriend came in and said the car was
now running and we could leave! The next day I was
called to come in for an interview with Kevin and
his stepmother and was promptly hired!
I started working and, within a short period of time,
Kevin asked me out on a date. I guess being one of
the owners had its privileges. At the end of our outing,
when he took me back to my car, we started talking
and he asked me what I believed about God? The topic
soon centered on a Gospel that I had never heard in
the Catholic Church. He asked me if I knew that Jesus
was God? I answered that He was the "son"
of God but not God! Kevin laughed and said that was
one thing the Catholic Church gets right! I told him
that I knew Jesus was up in Heaven, with Mary and
Peter and all the rest, but that I had never realized
He was God! All the lights went on and I could finally
understand how Jesus could die for everyone's sins
and be the One Who can forgive those sins. Kevin completely
explained to me Who Jesus was and why He came to Earth,
how He paid the full debt for my sins offering salvation
as a free gift, and how I could now have the assurance
of eternal life.
Pieces of life's puzzle fell into place. Memories
of specific instances flashed across my mind, revealing
how God had been with me, watching over me until I
could be right with Him. Like the time I had been
on my way home from work in the wee hours of the morning
in a major snowstorm and got stuck on a country road
in the middle of nowhere. I prayed for fear of my
life. Afraid that if I didn't freeze to death, the
big snowplows would come through just before dawn
and, even with the full Moon out, wouldn't see the
light colored Toyota buried in the drift. No sooner
had I finished praying than I was approached by a
very thin and tall man who asked me to back the car
up to the road behind me and that he would push. He
said once I got to that intersection I could turn
around and go for the main highway. He pushed and
I backed the car out of the snowdrift. I didn't do
exactly what he told me to do, but stopped the car
before the intersection to turn around and say thank
you. I got out of my car to thank him, but even on
a very bright full moonlit night with flat open snowcovered
fields all around, there was no sign of anyone, not
even a footprint in the snow!
Now, sitting in a car with Kevin and reflecting back,
things were making more sense than I could ever imagine.
That night, I accepted Jesus into my heart for the
forgiveness of sins and was born again. I was so glad
to finally hear what I had been searching for all
those years.
In time, Kevin and I were married and he eventually
adopted my two sons. Since then, we have added four
more children to our family -three boys and a girl!
God has been so good!! I guess my Aunt Glady, who
is with Jesus in Heaven right now, was right all along.
He is always listening, and waiting to hear from you!
