Jesus in Matthew 18:
15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between
the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
16* But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that `every matter
may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'
17* If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses
to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
18* "I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven,
and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. (NIV)
Matthew 18:15-18 has a proper use and an improper
use. Those that use it properly use it for the purpose
of restoring a brother who has caused a perceived
hurt against them personally or who have done an
actual harm to them or the Lord. Those that misuse
generally have a manipulative or destructive purpose
in mind.
False Approaches
The false way to approach this issue and these Scriptures
is to think that they give you the right to be “thin
skinned” and go after others for anything you
deem as an affront to your sensibilities or self.
We are supposed to die to self by picking up our
cross daily. If we are encouraged to think that we
now have a duty to be on the alert for personal hurts
and grievances then we have the mechanism for all
kinds of strife and evil confrontation.
A despotic leader may wish to keep everyone finding
fault with each other in order to keep them from
criticizing the leadership. This was employed in
Communist and fascist (Nazi) countries with people
asked to be on a constant search or spy mission for
their neighbor’s faults. This served to keep
the people off balance by being preoccupied with
each other’s faults and never able to organize
any opposition to leaders. Satan, who inspired these
parties, is not stupid about human nature and their
collective polity when involved in any combined human
endeavor either worldly or ecclesiastical.
Mathew 18 can be wrongly used to shun or “put
out of the church” those that disagree with
leadership. The leader can find someone who is a
willing accomplice (if the person is a wealthy “mover
and shaker” all the better) to accuse the leaders’ enemy
and then bring them before others who are allied
with the leaders to vote the person out of the church.
This is naked aggression and VERY dishonoring to
Christ. The cults have long practiced this shunning
business and there are those in their ranks who tow
the line long after they were convinced the group
is a cult simply because they fear being put out
of the cult. This ought not to be EVER done in a
true Christian Church!! The only time that shunning
or putting out of the church occurred was the case
in 1 Corinthians and then it was for flagrant sin.
The man that was shunned was guilty of having a sexual
relationship with his father’s wife!
The Apostles Paul and James speak to favoritism
in the Church in the following Scriptures:
“And this occurred because of false
brethren secretly brought in (who came in by stealth
to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus,
that they might bring us into bondage), to whom we
did not yield submission even for an hour, that the
truth of the gospel might continue with you. But
from those who seemed to be something--whatever they
were, it makes no difference to me; God shows personal
favoritism to no man--for those who seemed to
be something added nothing to me.” —Apostle
Paul in Galatians 2:4-6
“ My brethren, do not hold your faith in our
glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal
favoritism. For if a man comes into your assembly
with a gold ring and dressed in fine clothes, and
there also comes in a poor man in dirty clothes,
and you pay special attention to the one who is wearing
the fine clothes, and say, "You sit here in
a good place," and you say to the poor man, "You
stand over there, or sit down by my footstool," have
you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become
judges with evil motives? . . But if you show
partiality, you are committing sin and are
convicted by the law as transgressors.” —James
2:1-4,9
The True Use of Matthew 18
Proverbs 10:12 “Hatred stirs up strife, But
love covers all transgressions.”
If someone steals something from you, or bears false
witness against you, this scripture should be used
to confront your brother for either of these are
sins are against God and not just a slight against
you. They truly are “sins” in the theological
sense. There are petty slights and insults that we
are asked to bear willingly and without complaint
and should not even notice. This goes against our
fallen nature.
This principle is found in the following verses
of Scripture: "But I say to you, do not resist
an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek,
turn the other to him also. —Jesus in Matthew
5:39
"Whoever hits you on the cheek,
offer him the other also; and whoever takes away
your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either.”—
Jesus in Luke 6:29
“Therefore I am well content with weaknesses,
with insults, with distresses, with persecutions,
with difficulties, for Christ's sake;
for when I am weak, then I am strong.”—the
Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:10
“Actually, then, it is already a defeat for
you, that you have lawsuits with one another. Why
not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?” —The
Apostle Paul in 1Corinthians 6:7.
I was once told by a Hindu fellow that I had an
airtight lawsuit case against a Christian brother
who had caused an injury resulting in 10% of my cerebellum
dying. I informed the Hindu that Christians don’t
sue Christians. I saw by the look on his face that
it had a direct impact on him. Christians need to
be able to obey this in light of what Christ gave
them on the cross. Christians should not be quick
to confront each other!
This is not to say that if you know yourself to
be the one who has offended your brother (or sister)
that you should not proactively go to him and admit
that you have hurt him. This is if your sin was objective
and could be heard or seen by others, in addition
to incidents where, under conviction of the Holy
Spirit, you know that you have hurt or offended someone.
However, if you have sinned in your heart against
your brother and he knows nothing about it, you should
think twice about telling the person who may be unaware
that you harbored any animosity. This confession
of yours may cause him to stumble in holding animosity
toward you if he is immature in the Lord. It may
be better that you confess it to the Lord alone.
The following command of the Lord illustrates this
principle in action:
"Therefore if you are presenting your offering
at the altar, and there remember that your brother
has something against you, leave your offering there
before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your
brother, and then come and present your offering.” (Matthew
5: 23-24)
The Two or Three Witnesses Principle:
Witnesses Are Needed In A Fallen World!
"A single witness shall not rise up against
a man on account of any iniquity or any sin which
he has committed; on the evidence of two
or three witnesses a matter shall be confirmed.” —Deuteronomy
19:15
"But if he does not listen to you, take
one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO
OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED.” — Matthew
18:16
“This is the third time I am coming to you.
EVERY FACT IS TO BE CONFIRMED BY THE TESTIMONY OF TWO
OR THREE WITNESSES.” —2Corinthians
13:1
“Do not receive an accusation against an elder
except on the basis of two or three witnesses.”— 1Timothy
5:19
We are living in a fallen world where even the elect
can be guilty of not being consistent (see Romans
chapter 7). It is because of this that the need to
have objective testimony, outside of subjective perceptions,
must be employed. There needs to be at least TWO
or THREE witnesses that agree that there has been
a transgression of God’s law by an individual,
especially an elder, BEFORE it can even be received
as valid requiring action.
Notice in the Matthew 18 formula you have two or
three witnesses going with you to see what transpires
when you meet the person you are going to see. This
should mean that when there is factionalism (where
a disagreement has occurred and there are people
on two sides of it) involved, two or three witnesses
from EACH SIDE should be there to bear witness to
how the transaction occurs. In the age of tape recorders
it may be advisable to have one of these on in order
to keep everyone honest. This is especially true
when there is suspected to be a political or personal
agenda afoot.
Cults have taken over churches when these common
sense applications are not understood by the people
involved or are forbidden under some false pietistic
guise such as leaders who ask, “How can you
possibly distrust me? This is dishonoring to me and
an insult!” This might be done in order to
maintain ‘damage control” if what is
said in the proceedings doesn’t suit those
in control. The idea that some leader is beyond being
questioned is biblically wrong as the Bereans were
called more “noble minded” than the Thessalonians
because they held the Apostle Paul’s feet to
the fire, searching the Scriptures daily to see if
what PAUL said was true!
Peter addressed the church leaders saying: “Therefore,
I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow
elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and
a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed,
shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight
not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according
to the will of God; and not for sordid gain,
but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those
allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples
to the flock.” —1 Peter 5:1-3
Improper Presumptuous Judgment
If Matthew 18 is focused on to the exclusion of
other biblical principles, we may think we are invited
to judge a brother or sister’s heart! Is judging
your brother’s motives the first thing we are
supposed to be doing? Certainly, this is not so!
The Holy Spirit in 1 Corinthians 4:5 commands us: “Therefore,
do not go on passing judgment before the time, but
wait until the Lord comes who will both bring
to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose
the motives of men's hearts; and then each
man's praise will come to him from God.”
“But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not
look at his appearance or at the height of his stature,
because I have rejected him; for God sees not
as man sees, for man looks at the outward
appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." —1Samuel
16:7. These Scriptures teach that man is not qualified
to judge another man’s motives that are locked
inside the heart.
Judgment as Discernment Is a Commandment!
However, this does NOT mean that all judgment in
the church is wrong! Are people in the church never
to use their Biblically informed theological understanding
to surmise if what someone is doing or saying is
a correct and true representation of God’s
word? Of course, we must serve the Lord by THINKING
in a discerning way. After all Jesus commanded us
in John 7:24: "Do not judge according to appearance,
but judge with righteous judgment." This
is so because the Bible predicts that there will
be those in our midst who will introduce false teaching.
Jude 1:4 For certain persons have crept
in unnoticed, those who were long beforehand
marked out for this condemnation, ungodly persons
who turn the grace of our God into licentiousness
and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.
2Pe 2:1 But false prophets also arose among
the people, just as there will also be false teachers among
you, who will secretly introduce destructive
heresies, even denying the Master who bought them,
bringing swift destruction upon themselves.
Because of the phenomenon of false teachers, that
these scriptures warn us about, we must exercise
discernment. “But he who is spiritual judges
all things, yet he himself is rightly judged
by no one.” —The Apostle Paul in 1Corinthians
2:15.
A Call To Christian Love and Integrity
In True Humility and Forgiveness i.e. —The
Other Matthew 18 Formula!
When Matthew 18:15-18 is lauded to be the only panacea
for all Christian relationships then we are forgetting
another Scriptural formula for dealing with hurts
inflicted by others. The other less famous Matthew
18 formula is found in Matthew 18:21-22: “Then
Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often
shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him?
Up to seven times? Jesus said to him, "I do
not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy
times seven.” If someone committed the same
sin against you seventy times you are to forgive
them that many times for the sake of Christ. In context
of this teaching and directly following this passage,
Jesus gave the parable of the man who was forgiven
a large sum of money he owed a King and then promptly
demanded a pittance that was owed him from someone
else. The King dealt harshly with such a lack of
generosity and compassionate forgiveness.
People are ultimately forgiven on the basis of the
fact that we ALL deserve God’s harshest judgment
for what we have done to Him, but that God has graciously
bestowed undeserved forgiveness on us! If He forgives
us for offenses that deserve the punishment of Hell,
how much more should we be forgiving of our brothers
who have sinned against us personally. Remember Paul
said he was “well content” with “insults
and persecutions.”
King David, it could be argued, “sinned” against
many people. He “sinned” against: Bathsheba
by issuing a royal summons for an illicit sexual
purpose, against her extended family, certainly against
Uriah in killing him, against Joab by asking him
to be an accomplice to murder, and indeed against
the entire nation of Israel by compromising the nation’s
king. Still, when David penned Psalm 51 he told God, “Against
Thee and Thee only have I sinned.” This is
an acknowledgement that all sin is ultimately against
God.
A Call Away From Pettiness And Subjectivism
Jesus told us to “major in the majors and
minor in the minors” when he said that the
Pharisees “strained at gnats and swallowed
camels” and that “tithing mint dill and
cumin” was not as weighty as matters of the
law and justice. This means we are not to be petty
and self-serving in what we perceive as an affront
tom our persons.
"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!
For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected
the weightier provisions of the law: justice and
mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things
you should have done without neglecting the others.” — Matthew
23:23
The Apostle Paul said that we should not allow other
people’s conscience to be our judge
“I mean not your own conscience,
but the other man's; for why is my freedom
judged by another's conscience?” —The
Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:29
When someone has committed a real sin as opposed
to a “perceived sin” it should be one
that can be clearly shown to be a sin according to
Scripture. Just because someone was perceived by
you to be rude to you doesn’t automatically
give a you a “hunting permit” to judge
him and go after him. It may be that you misperceived
the supposed insult! You may actually be wrong in
not being obedient to Jesus in John 13:34: "A
new commandment I give to you, that you love one” another,
even as I have loved you, that you also love one
another.” And the Apostle Peter in 1Peter 4:8: “Above
all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because
love covers a multitude of sins.” 1Corinthians
16:14 Let all that you do be done in love.” Love
is defined in 1 Corinthians 13:5 this way: “Love
does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not
take into account a wrong suffered . . . ”
Does not take into account a wrong suffered? WOW!
If everyone was obedient to this commandment to love,
what a wonderful world this would be. How many perceived
insults and “putdowns” that torment people
and foster grudges and foment bitterness would be
avoided! Self-inflicted hurt that leads to hurting
others would be rare. The children of God should
be known as big hearted people not a small
narrow and petty people!
In this area, as in all areas of life, the Bible
should be our sole rule of faith and practice. And
rather than cherry-picking verses in a cynical effort
to advance our arguments, we need to follow the WHOLE
counsel of God, obeying the biblical command to “rightly
divide the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15).
Mount Carmel Outreach
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